It is time...

This may sound cheesey, but damn I need to get my house in order. There is so much out there and my progress this last two years has been pretty spectacular even if I say so myself. Down twenty kilograms, new attitude, new lodgings, new business and a new lease on life. But I cant help wondering if I am on track. Back when I was in the military our pastors or equivalent would ask us if our 'saak' (case) was right with God.

Over the years I have adopted that phrase 'My Saak is Reg' translated meaning 'My 'case' is right' not only for spiritual reasons but also in my life. I now question my current circumstances and ask myself, "Is my case right?" I have unfortunately always had the uneasy feeling in my life that I am just treading water to survive. I know the ultimate objective is simplicity in life and thought but cant help wondering or in this case speculating how close I am to the goal.

The preverbial question remains, "What is enough?" I eat well, I earn well, I drive 'well' and I live well, yet can't shake this feeling that I am not well! What more is there to life that becons me so? I have always had the urge to move on, to explore and to venture over the next hill, pass on through the next valley, cross the mountain range, sail that sea and discover for myself if the grass is greener on the other side. Sixteen or so countries later I have an even greater urge to pack my bags.

The difference this time is I have a debt to pay which keeps me bound. Please understand that I have absolutely no regrets in the least and cherish this time, but I constantly struggle with the urge to move and need to find a way to channel it into constructive achievement to satisfy this nomadic desire. Maybe a householders lifestyle can be achieved and forfilling but for this purpose I need to share it with a passionate partner in every sense. It is my honest belief that life can be forfilling if you have support. Maybe this is what I am lacking? "Support"

I want to tease someone till they laugh, I want to cuddle till the early hours, I need to be someones hero, and above all I want to start a conversation that will last me the rest of my life! Now there is a thought. Sharing is possibly the most missed part of my life, the one spindle that does not rotate with the rest of my being. So there it is, a glimpse of my soul, a peak into my heart and mind. If I make it a quest I know I will achieve my goal, but the biggest question lies in the fact that, will that be enough?

I bid you all goodnight or in this case 'Good day' as it is '01h30 ish'

Till a new dawn, till a new day ... sleep tight my friends for tomorrow we enter once again into the fray!